


Tumblr Misc: Teen Wolf

by A_Diamond



Series: Tumblr Misc [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Drabble Collection, Ficlet Collection, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, chapters tagged individually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-04-13 20:43:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 3,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14120436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Diamond/pseuds/A_Diamond
Summary: Collection of Teen Wolf ficlets/drabbles/notfic originally from Tumblr. Tags and warnings for each will be in the chapter summaries.





	1. The Moon's Smirk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** Implied prostitution, angst
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/172043288158/the-moons-smirk-first-time-joining) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: sale, gesture, tempt

The alley was empty when Stiles turned down it; it was lit enough for him to be sure. He glanced over his shoulder to check no one was following and hadn’t even finished looking ahead again before an arm blocked his path and a body pressed against his.

“Knew you’d be back,” Derek growled in his ear. “Tempted?”

Stiles tipped his head up; partly to see Derek’s face and partly as a gesture of submission. “Not by anything that’s for sale.”

“That’s all I have left.” The silver fleur-de-lis on Derek’s collar flashed in the light as he turned away.


	2. First Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** Getting together, explicit consent
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/172291755508/first-touch-for-the-sterekdrabbles-prompt-body) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: body, pleasant, fun (bonus theme: consent)

Derek’s gaze devoured the body stretched out on his bed, lean muscle and mole-speckled skin. His fingers trembled to follow his eyes, his mouth salivated to taste, but he held himself back and dragged his focus back to Stiles’s face.

“Can I touch you?”

“Did you think I threw myself naked into your wolfy nest for fun? Well,” Stiles added pleasantly, “I mean, hopefully fun. But the sexy kind of fun.”

“So, yes?” Derek confirmed as he climbed on the bed and straddled Stiles, still careful not to touch.

“Yes!”

Stiles gasped and shivered when Derek’s hands stroked his chest.


	3. Wolf's Bane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** Attempted/threatened non-con, drugging, bad touch
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/172360815148/wolfs-bane-for-the-sterekdrabbles-prompt) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: struggle, accompany, relieve (bonus theme: consent)

The alpha grinned, crooked and wicked, and told her pack, “Very nice. Accompany him to my room.”

Derek struggled, but the wolfsbane oozing through his blood rendered him helpless against the burly betas as they lifted him, one on each side, and hauled him down the hallway. As they passed her, she reached out to slice his shirt open with her claws.

“I can’t wait to get my hands on you.”

Dark powder rained down in a line across the floor, blocking them from dragging him further; Derek had never been so relieved to see mountain ash.

“Let him go.”


	4. Lazy Sunday Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** domestic, related to my ficlet [Soft Saturday Mornings](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13853712) but doesn’t need to be read with it.
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/172427687088/lazy-sunday-morning) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: lazy, possible, pillow (bonus theme: consent)

He wakes slowly, softly to match the mid-morning sun filtering through the curtains. Everything feels good, better than should be possible with the week he’s had and the week he still has looming. But today, this morning, he has nothing weighing him down - except Derek, who’s currently using his ass as a pillow.

Derek’s not asleep, not by the way he’s nuzzling at Stiles’s cheeks, dragging two-day scruff across his skin and nosing at his crack. Just a sweet, lazy caress.

“Going somewhere with that?” he asks without moving.

Derek hums. “Depends, are you awake enough to want me to?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Related drabble: [Quiet Friday Evening](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14120436/chapters/35727393).


	5. Spyer’s Remorse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** Crackfic, mentioned kinky sex
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/172609898788/spyers-remorse-for-the-sterekdrabbles-prompt) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: wrong, pleasure, dictionary

Scott frowned as he typed. He’d overheard Stiles making plans with Derek for the weekend, but he wasn’t sure if he should be upset at being left out. Stiles had sounded really excited about finally getting to do...  _ something, _ but Scott didn’t actually know what that thing was. Trying some food or a new video game or—

The first search result was from urban dictionary. It was a kinky sex thing. He only made it a few sentences in before slamming the laptop shut. How could that be  _ pleasurable? _

Grabbing his phone, he texted Stiles,  **THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU!!**


	6. Crossed Wires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** Masochism, referenced sex, inner conflict about neurodivergence and kink
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/172612208208/crossed-wires-another-one-for-the-sterekdrabbles) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: wrong, pleasure, dictionary

There was something messed up in him. Had to be. He was the dictionary definition of perverted; deviant, twisted, wrong. His brain was wired backwards or sideways or something.

But that wasn’t new, for Stiles. He’d been fighting his brain his whole life, despite living very firmly inside it, and he liked to think he’d gotten pretty good at managing the civil war without too many casualties. That was the ADHD. That, he had to struggle against daily.

The masochism, though? He didn’t want to subdue that. Not when the pain spiked into pleasure and he came shouting Derek’s name.


	7. Fool's Gold (I & II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** Fantasy/Royalty AU
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/173169363593/fools-gold-i-ii-written-for-two) for the Sterek Drabbles prompts: I - fool, hilarious, master & II - royalty, warm, voice

**I.**

“Tell me a joke!”

Stiles smiled tightly. Though as the court jester he was well-accustomed to having to force frivolity in the direst circumstances, he was in no mood to be trifled with by a guard who he needn’t defer to as he did the nobility he usually entertained.

“I was summoned by your master,” he repeated. “Let me pass.”

“The fool thinks he can boss me around,” scoffed the guard.

“Well then, since you think it so hilarious, there’s your joke. Now—”

The door he’d been barring Stiles from opened and the prince’s glower appeared through it. “Let him in.”

 

**II.**

As the door to the royal chambers closed, Stiles said, “Apologies, my prince. I didn’t wish to keep you waiting.”

“Stiles.” Prince Derek’s voice was tender. “Whittemore may be a jackass, and I’ll have words with the watch captain, but he won’t dare eavesdrop.”

That was all the permission Stiles needed to throw himself into the warmth of his lover’s arms. “My prince,” he repeated, then, “Derek. I missed you.”

“And I you. Not just because I’m lonely without you, though that’s true. I could have used your insight in these negotiations.”

“Tell me what happened; you’ll have it now.”


	8. Almost Familial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** Peter Hale
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/173236963288/almost-familial) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: wolf, conversation, grateful (bonus theme: family)

Stiles had grown accustomed to walking into his room and finding a Hale sitting on his bed. That didn’t stop him from flailing and demanding, “What? What! What do you want?” Because it had never been Peter before.

The wolf flashed blue eyes and a fanged grin at him, then had the nerve to condescendingly say, “Just a conversation, Stiles.”

Dropping his bag, Stiles crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows. “Conversation.”

“You’ve been... taking care of my nephew.” Peter paused again and Stiles braced for something creepy and euphemistic; instead, sounding like it pained him, Peter finished, “I’m grateful.”


	9. What Lingers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** None
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/173324674733/what-lingers-for-the-sterekdrabbles-prompt) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: reveal, replace, feeling (bonus theme: family)

When a deep breath reveals his scent replacing Laura’s in the driver’s seat of the Camaro, he parks it outside his burned-out childhood home and growls subvocally whenever anyone gets near it. Since most of them are werewolves, they hear anyway and keep their distance. For over a week, it’s touched by nothing but falling leaves.

Those scatter seconds after he gets the call; he’s too preoccupied with feeling his heart try to escape his chest to care that he’s filling the space with his own acrid fear. He’s already lost so much. He can’t lose his new pack, too.


	10. At Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** Explicit sex
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/173489822018/at-last) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: twitch, spill, chop

Stiles’s legs had been shaking for what felt like hours, even though he knew it could only have been a few minutes. The muscles in his thighs quivered every time Derek’s claws scratched lightly over the skin there, but even that was nothing compared to how choppy his breathing got when Derek did that thing with his tongue.

Sliding easily in the mess of lube and come, Derek’s fingers pushed inside him and angled for his prostate with a directness that made his whole body twitch.

“Fuck, oh, fuck!” he all but sobbed as he finally spilled into Derek’s mouth.


	11. The Enemy of my Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** Arranged/political marriage, angel Derek, nogitsune Stiles
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/173578515043/the-enemy-of-my-enemy-for-the-sterekdrabbles) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: treaty, imagine, angel

Derek’s wings twitched as the demons flared into existence. The clearing smoke revealed two horned figures, Hell’s ambassadors, that he recognized; the third he’d never seen before. His husband-to-be.

“Hello, angel,” the nogitsune purred, so sultry even Derek’s virtuous mind could imagine what the drag of those dark-ringed eyes down his body meant. “Magnificent. And brave, to give yourself to me.”

He’d only agreed to the marriage treaty because the humans who hunted them were too numerous to face without allies, but Derek could see himself falling in more ways than one for the terrible, beautiful void behind that smile.

 


	12. (Im)patience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** Light BDSM
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/176041941423/impatience) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: finger, glasses, apple.

Stiles’s glasses fell off one ear and tipped askew into his hair. His cheeks were rose-flushed, his lips bitten to bruising. Even darker was his cock: full and leaking, desperate for attention. Derek didn’t give it. He was too focused on lower parts. His finger disappeared into Stiles, twisted, slipped out. Stiles whined, begged, and threatened, but with his arms bound wrist-to-elbow behind him and his thighs tied up and away, he couldn’t move. Derek had spent so long fingering him his ass was paling from apple-red; Derek pulled back so he could fix that with a few good smacks.


	13. Quiet Friday Evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** domestic, related to my ficlet [Soft Saturday Mornings](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13853712) and drabble [Lazy Sunday Morning](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14120436/chapters/32646993) but doesn’t need to be read with them.
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/176103764068/quiet-friday-evening) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: waist, treat, admire.

After the day Stiles had, he got back to the loft wanting to collapse into bed and sleep for about a week. Or at least until his testimony Monday morning. But when he actually walked in, he stopped short and forgot all about his plans in favor of admiring the view: Derek waiting up in soft pajama pants, holding  a plate of brownies. He knew immediately they would be salted caramel, his favorite treat. With an arm around Stiles’s waist, Derek guided him to the couch; by the time they moved to bed, all the day’s stress had melted away.


	14. Fresh Veggies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings/tags:** Domestic crack, mention of underage masturbation, past inappropriate use of vegetables.
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/176460070023/fresh-veggies) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: pain, cucumber, snatch.

Derek stared at Stiles, face contorted as if in pain. Judgy pain. Horrified judgy pain.

“It was one time!” He held out a finger for emphasis. “One! And I was like fifteen! I couldn’t exactly go around buying sex toys as the underage son of the local sheriff, and Dad changed his credit card numbers after the artichoke incident.”

Snatching the bag of farmers’ market produce off the table, Derek demanded, “Artichoke incident?!”

“Oh my god, not like that! I just ordered three crates for his diet. I never fucked myself with an artichoke, okay?”

“No. Just with a cucumber.”


	15. Second Star to the Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** Halloween, mild dirty talk involving a costume of an underage character (non-underage Stiles dressed as Peter Pan)
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/176615050543/second-star-to-the-right) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: hook, credibility, pumpkin.

“You know, I used to scare kids on Halloween.”

“Aww, pumpkin.” Stiles finished hopping into his forest green tights to flash his boyfriend a mockingly sympathetic smile. “Is this ruining your terror-of-the-night credibility?”

“I was very good at it,” Derek continued like he hadn’t heard. “And it was fun.”

Laughing, Stiles darted in to steal a kiss from Derek’s scowl. “Play nice for the kids tonight, Hook, and I’ll show you some fun.”

Derek shook his head fondly. “I’m never going to be able to watch  _ Peter Pan _ again, am I?”

“Not without feeling like a creep!” Stiles confirmed cheerfully.


	16. The Weight of Your World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags** : angst
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/176794455693/the-weight-of-your-world) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: guilt, mislead, horrible.

Derek didn’t watch Stiles leave, tears in his eyes. Peter did.

“Well, that went well,” he declared cheerfully, like they couldn’t still hear Stiles’s sorrow. “I have to give you credit, I didn’t think you’d be able to mislead him so convincingly. After all, you’re a horrible liar, he’s not stupid, and you’re disgustingly in love with him. But look at that: you broke his heart.”

Guilt settled over Derek, but it was a familiar, almost comfortable shroud, one he could wear to his death when he turned himself over to the unbeatable alpha pack, knowing Stiles would be safe.


	17. The Unicorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** AU
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/176863726578/the-unicorn) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: unicorn, belly, moment.

Derek only came to The Unicorn because Erica dragged him out, citing a need for him to stop being “such a depressing loner.” Naturally, he lurked in a corner near the bar and scowled at anyone who came near while Erica danced with every twink she could snare.

When he checked in on her again, she was grinding behind a new partner but staring back at Derek. Her silent point was well-made, if smug: everything about him appealed to Derek.

Then the man himself looked up, meeting Derek’s eyes for a moment, and long-dormant hunger started pooling in his belly.


	18. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** Past character injury, post-canon.
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/176936812323/coming-home) for the Teen Wolf Drabbles prompts: fang (daily), memory (weekly), mature (monthly).

Stiles was different when he came back to Beacon Hills for the last time; came back to stay.

He was more mature. Older, of course, but also more controlled. More confident, more serious, more world-weary. The spastic teen of Derek’s memory had been whittled into something sharper by years of supernatural trouble; even more years in the FBI had finished honing him into a man as dangerous as any creature with claws or fangs.

Despite the hostage-situation-gone-bad that had left him hospitalized for months and ended his career, he came home ready to throw himself into the fight like always.


	19. Family Values

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** Post-canon, Chris Argent, family feels
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/176997024043/family-values) for the Teen Wolf Drabbles prompt: soft.

“You’ve gone soft,” his father says as he watches the children playing in the yard. He ignores it, continues folding laundry and keeping an eye on the swings.

“This isn’t how I raised you,” his father accuses when he lays the unconscious boy, bloodied and too small, on his bed. Dismissing it, he gently wipes down the boy’s face, tucks a blanket over him, and settles into a nearby chair for the night.

“They’re monsters!” his father rages. Chris steps back to let Derek inside with another supernatural stray; he knows neither of them hears the ghost who haunts him.


	20. a shattered frame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** Off-screen minor character death, angst
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/177078539958/a-shattered-frame) for the Teen Wolf Drabbles prompts: frame (daily), memory (weekly).

“I’m being framed!” Stiles looked desperately at his dad, needing him to know even if he couldn’t do anything about the investigation. He was only even being allowed in the room as a courtesy.

“Right,” sneered Rafael McCall, leaning in to block Stiles’s line of sight. “Someone put you in a room with the dead girl, covered in her blood, and chained it from the inside.”

“Yes!”

“How can you be sure when you can’t remember anything from the last two days?”

“I know I wouldn’t!” But even as he protested, doubt crept into the void of his missing memories.


	21. Better Things to Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** None
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/177213875863/better-things-to-do) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: spite, spend, Sunday.

“Are you going to spend all night on that project just to spite Theo?”

Stiles looked up and had to blink the screen-blur from his eyes before Derek really came into focus. His dark hair was tousled and wet, drops of water sliding down his neck to his bare chest, then run between his pecs into a rivulet snaking down his abs to the towel wrapped around his hips... When had he taken a shower?

“Uh?”

Stiles had forgotten the question.

“Come to bed. I’ll make you forget about work until Sunday night.”

“It’s Monday.”

“Yeah.”

Stiles shut his laptop.


	22. Esprit de Corps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** Secret relationship
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/177251005838/esprit-de-corps) for the Teen Wolf Drabbles prompts: unit (daily), panoramic (weekly).

The bluff is a hike from where the unit’s set up for the night, but worth it for the panoramic view of the rainforest canopy below them. It also guarantees them a privacy they can’t hope for closer to camp. Derek followed Stiles without question or protest, but when Stiles pushes him against a large tree and moves in, his conscience forces him to try.

“We can’t keep doing this,” he murmurs, but Stiles drops to his knees anyway.

“We’ll get discharged,” he tries again. “If we get caught, they’ll have us—”

Stiles works open the button of his pants.


	23. Pack Dynamics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** Kidnapping, villany
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/177527143413/pack-dynamics) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: defend, wound, fit (bonus theme: loyalty).

Being the token human meant that waking up tied to a tree wasn’t as unusual an occurrence as Stiles might’ve liked it to be. But hostage company was: Derek was bound to a nearby tree, unconscious with a nasty-looking head wound.

“Now you see how unfit your alpha is. He was so busy protecting the weakest member of his pack, he couldn’t even defend himself.”

Stiles had to laugh. “Buddy, you really didn’t do your homework. I’m not the weakest member of the pack, and Derek?” Howls and shrieks echoed through the forest; distant but closing. “Derek’s not the scariest.”


	24. Deal with the Devil Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** Implied rape by coercion, not between Derek and Stiles. Stiles ostensibly says yes, but is not in a position where he can deny consent.
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/177598965118/deal-with-the-devil-cat) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: sugar, alley, heat (bonus theme: loyalty).

“Doesn’t gotta be rough, sugar.” The way the man shoved Stiles’s face into the bricks walling off the alley belied his cloying tone. “Give it up easy and you can go back to your alpha only a little worse for wear.”

The heat of the werecougar’s body pressed along Stiles’s back made him feel sick; worse, he knew the guy could smell it on him.

“Just do it,” he muttered to the crumbling grout. “Then leave. That’s the deal.”

The cougar laughed and nosed at his neck. “That’s right, pet. I ruin you and I won’t have to kill him.”


	25. Silent Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** None
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/178781085558/silent-conversations) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: knit, tender, kiss.

Brows knitted, Derek scowled at Stiles, wordlessly conveying his consternation and disapproval of that last suggestion.

Stiles, mouth open like he’d forgotten it there, raised his own eyebrows, widened his eyes, and spread his hands. He was sticking to it and challenged Derek to offer anything better.

It was a sign, Cora thought, that she spent too much time with them: she could interpret their silent conversations without trying.

Though it also meant she could read the tenderness that overtook her brother’s expression and throw something at him.

“Focus! You can kiss him if we’re still alive in two hours.”


	26. Welcome to the Jungle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** None
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/178864120723/welcome-to-the-jungle) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: pole, jungle, warrant.

There were a lot of things Noah was prepared to find when serving a search warrant at the Jungle. Primarily, of course, he was expecting the evidence of solicitation that had gotten the warrant signed off in the first place. Drug use, minors on premises, indecent exposure, maybe some particularly egregious labor violations.

He definitely wasn’t prepared to find his underage son rapt and staring at a shirtless, muscular man hanging halfway up one of the poles on stage. He was so distracted he didn’t even notice his dad coming up behind him until Noah barked, “God DAMN it, Stiles!”


	27. Homeward Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** Angst, unresolved suspense
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/179017949193/homeward-bound) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: map, ditch, thunder.

They find the Jeep in a ditch three miles out of town, out of gas but otherwise functional. No way to know how long it’s been there; it’s not visible from the main highway, only got called in because someone pulled over for a flat tire and spotted it. The engine’s cold, but the cracked phone in the passenger footwell has enough battery left that it wakes with directions to the Stilinski’s house. The starting point is so far away it’s off the map. Unease rolls through him like thunder.

Where has Stiles been? More importantly, where is he now?


	28. feel like an outline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** Angst (what happens when I try to write fluff)
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/179089837193/feel-like-an-outline) for the Sterek Drabbles prompt: trust, sweet, wake

Derek doesn’t trust easily, anymore. It was a hard lesson, one he didn’t learn even after he knew he should’ve, even after his trust had been broken over and over to hurt him, his family, his pack. When Derek lets his guard down, something bad always happens. Always.

So it scares him to wake up in a bed that’s not his. It hurts to have to admit that he’s so lonely and desperate for a sweet touch that he fell into bed with a stranger. Again.

“Easy, big guy. I can hear you freaking out even without any wolfy senses.”


	29. Stay Puft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings/tags:** AU, silliness
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://alxdiamond.tumblr.com/post/179655930888/stay-puft) for a series of Sterek Drabbles prompts, which can be found preceding each section.

_hero, say, freeze (bonus theme: Halloween)_

“Freeze!” Stiles shouted at the fleeing suspect. “Stop, police!”

The girl flipped him off over her shoulder and kept running, Kira’s bag in hand. Stiles ran after her, but his giant, puffy costume made it really hard; when he reached the street, she was already half a block ahead of him. Out of nowhere, a Beacon County Sheriff’s car swerved in front of her and Deputy Hale, his least and most favorite coworker, jumped out to make the arrest.

Stiles was huffing and puffing as he caught up, but he still mock-swooned up at Derek’s scowl and said, “My hero.”

* * *

_standard, color, private (bonus theme: Halloween)_

“I’m pretty sure this isn’t standard procedure,” the in-custody complained from the back seat. “I’m a juvenile, you legally have to keep my information private, right?”

“First of all,” Stiles said, “no.” He still had most of his costume on, but had removed the marshmallow head because it was absurdly hot and difficult to see and talk out of. “Second of all, you legally have to not steal people’s shit, so.”

Derek’s head jerked up from his paperwork and Stiles took a moment to admire the color of Derek’s eyes reflecting the orange glow of the Halloween decorations all around.

* * *

_loud, guess, bread (bonus theme: Halloween)_

Before Derek could scold Stiles, the girl snorted loudly and said, “Yeah, I’m gonna listen to the Pillsbury Breadboy.”

“Hey, you thieving heathen! It’s the Pillsbury Doughboy. Literally everyone knows that. Also, I’m not the Pillsbury Doughboy, I’m obviously the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters.”

“Obviously,” Derek muttered. Stiles couldn’t see the eye roll, but he knew it was there.

“To anyone who hasn’t lived in a cave for thirty years, yeah.”

“So,” the girl asked, “you two fucked yet?”

“Well I guess it’s time for you to go to jail!” Stiles declared in panic, not looking at Derek.

* * *

_love, heart, husband_

“What? Stiles!”

While Stiles was glad his announcement diverted Derek from their thief’s wild accusation, he still didn’t have the heart to face him. If he was really so obvious that the kid picked up on it, there was no way Derek didn’t know about his massive, embarrassing pile of feelings.

The girl, who Stiles wasn’t convinced wasn’t an incarnation of the actual devil, laughed again. “Dude, everyone in the department knows you two are stupidly in love. Stupid and in love, since you’re the only idiots who don’t know.”

“What?”

“Didn’t I mention? My mom’s husband works with you.”

* * *

_carve, candy, cemetery_

Stiles’s dread grew as he stared at the grinning miscreant, unable to place her. He snatched the arrest paperwork from Derek, who was frowning at it in confusion. What Derek missed, Stiles saw instantly.

“Oh shit. Derek, take us to the cemetery.”

“What?”

“Might as well save everyone the cleanup when Erica carves me open.”

“Cynthia Reyes. Of course.” Derek paled. “Why is Sergeant Boyd’s stepdaughter stealing purses?”

“I thought it was just candy! And if you guys kiss this week he wins the office pool, so I figured I’d help.”

“There’s a betting pool?” Derek growled.

Stiles kissed him.


End file.
